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May you find great value in these quotes by W. Somerset Maugham.
It's a funny thing about life;
if you refuse to accept anything but the best,
you very often get it.
- W. Somerset Maugham
Related topics: Life Human-Nature Psychology
Love is only a dirty trick played on us
to achieve continuation of the species.
- W. Somerset Maugham
There is only one thing about which I am certain,
and that is that there is very little
about which one can be certain.
- W. Somerset Maugham
You have enemies? Good.
That means you've stood up for something,
sometime in your life.
- Winston Churchill
Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde
When a thing is funny, search it for a hidden truth.
- George Bernard Shaw
We like a man to come right out and say what he thinks-
if we agree with him.
- Mark Twain
Minds are like parachutes.
They only function when they are open.
- James Dewar
My life has been filled with terrible misfortune;
most of which never happened.
- Michel Eyquem De Montaigne
A person with a new idea is
a crank until the idea succeeds.
- Mark Twain
You got to be careful if you
don't know where you're going,
because you might not get there.
- Yogi Berra
When we remember we are all mad,
the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
- Mark Twain
A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer
Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all
is the person who argues with him.
- Stanislaw Jerszy Lec
When you reach the end of your rope,
tie a knot and hang on.
- Anonymous Saying
(Sometimes attributed to Franklin D. Roosevelt,
Eleanor Roosevelt, or Thomas Jefferson)
The first sigh of love is the last breath of wisdom.
- Anonymous
Always listen to the experts.
They'll tell you what can't be done and why.
Then do it.
- Robert Heinlein
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door.
- Milton Berle
Why not go out on a limb?
Isn't that where the fruit is?
- Mark Twain
Life is like a ten speed bicycle.
Most of us have gears we never use.
- Charles M. Schulz
I'm at an age when my back goes out more than I do.
- Phyllis Diller
One day Alice came to a fork in the road
and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree.
"Which road do I take?" she asked.
His responses was a question: "Where do you want to go?"
"I don't know," Alice answered.
"Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."
- Lewis Carroll
When you think you're out of time,
smile, and turn back the clock.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Big sisters are the crabgrass in the lawn of life.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Peanuts cartoon
Normal is in the eye of the beholder.
- Whoopi Goldberg
Today is your day to laugh at life,
laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad,
laugh loud - laugh often,
laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Times like these, dark times,
they do funny things to people.
They can tear them apart.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009)
Life would be tragic if it weren't funny.
- Stephen Hawking
Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore,
and that's what parents were created for.
- Ogden Nash
The secret of ugliness consists not in irregularity,
but in being uninteresting.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
An old friend will help you move.
A good friend will help you move a dead body.
- Jim Hayes
Nine-tenths of the people were created
so you would want to be with the other tenth.
- Horace Walpole
Okay, here's your first lesson: how to take a FALL!
- the movie Karate Kid
Nothing is so common-place as to wish to be remarkable.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
Old age has deformities enough of its own.
It should never add to them the deformity of vice.
- Eleanor Roosevelt
Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde
All you need is love.
But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.
- Charles M. Schulz
Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall
A positive attitude may not solve all your problems,
but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort.
- Herm Albright
The road to success is always under construction.
- Anonymous
You are only young once,
but you can stay immature indefinitely.
- Anonymous
If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)
What exactly is the function of a rubber duck?
- the movie Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002)
When you're drowning, you don't say,
"I would be incredibly pleased if someone
would have the foresight to notice
me drowning and come and help me,"
you just scream.
- John Lennon
Love is an endless mystery,
for it has nothing else to explain it.
- Rabindranath Tagore
There's a fine line between genius and insanity.
I have erased this line.
- Oscar Levant
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
- W. C. Fields
I refuse to answer that question
on the grounds that I don't know the answer
- Douglas Adams
Sometimes I've believed as many as
six impossible things before breakfast.
- Lewis Carroll
Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain
No problem is so formidable that
you can't walk away from it.
- Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money.
- W. C. Fields
A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.
- Steve Martin
The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once.
- Albert Einstein
I'm sure we all agree that we ought to love one another
and I know there are people in the world
that do not love their fellow human beings
and I HATE people like that.
- Tom Lehrer
You can always do one thing less than you think you can.
- Anonymous
Whenever I feel the need to exercise,
I lie down until it goes away.
- Robert Maynard Hutchins
I do not fear death.
I had been dead for billions and billions
of years before I was born,
and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
- Mark Twain
When life gets you down -
just put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
- Anonymous humor
I love mankind, it's people I can't stand.
- Charles M. Schulz
Today is my day to laugh at life.
Laugh loud - laugh often.
Laugh at what's funny - laugh at what's sad.
Laugh at me - laugh at you - laugh at life.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie
Why does a woman work ten years to change a man's habits
and then complain that he's not the man she married?
- Barbra Streisand
I love deadlines.
I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.
- Douglas Adams
Anyone who thinks sitting in church
can make you a Christian must also think
that sitting in a garage can make you a car.
- Garrison Keillor
The way I see it, it doesn't matter what you believe,
just so you're sincere.
- Linus Van Pelt in Charles M. Schulz' Go Fly A Kite, Charlie Brown
I'm just preparing my impromptu remarks.
- Winston Churchill
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.
- Groucho Marx
Here are the opinions on which my facts are based.
- Anonymous
Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your hearth
or burn down your house, you can never tell.
- Joan Crawford
Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Why me?"
Then a voice answers "Nothing personal,
your name just happened to come up. -
- Charlie Brown, in Charles M. Schulz' cartoon Peanuts
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